I have an 18 year old son who is a freshman in college. He has experienced depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations in the past year. We were hesitant to send him to school but he wanted to go and we thought it may actually help him (he does well in school and loves to play in the marching band). Since dropping him off at school (three hours away) in August, he has completely blocked all communication with all family members. We have no way to communicate. He is 18 so we have no power to communicate with on campus counseling or no avenue to help get him the support/help he needs. We worry every minute of every day. He is so deep in defense mode that I don't know what to do. We went to visit the campus to see him perform with the marching band a few weeks ago and he acted like we were invisible. Anybody. have suggestions for getting your legal adult child (18 years old) the help that he needs. Even if we find the right help/support, we need help getting him out of defense mode so that he will talk to us and let us help him. He has never had an episode of shutting us out and we have always been close (even when he struggled and went into defense mode). After reading the books and joining this forum, I realize I have made quite a few mistakes parenting him and not understanding why he would "shut down" etc. while growing up. He is angry, depressed and we don't know what to do. We do not know how he is coping at school--we don't know if he is excelling in his classes or failing, if he is making friends or spending all of his time in his dorm alone on the computer and most importantly, we do not know his state of mind (depressed etc).

Posted by skydivesc at 2022-10-17 22:35:34 UTC