Wow! Hello everyone@ It has been a long, long time since I posted! My youngest child started High School this year. In a new district. This was their choice. I had them on a homeschool track but the pandemic made them want to be around more kids. Having never been in a traditional school setting and being in a wealthy district (our last district was not) had been very overwhelming for them. They were a late transfer so they got their schedule late and their IEP hasn't been sorted out yet. I will say that the staff, counselors, administration has actually been working hard to accommodate the 70 new IEP kids into the program That is A LOT for them to have to suddenly have and they have needed to hire more staff BUT they have consistently helped my kid on the day to day and stayed in communication with me-which is a good sign that this may not be as horrible as I anticipated. I also need to add that my kiddo has to either walk 2 miles to school or take 3 city buses. Annoying but doable. Also new to them. As well as a 7 class all day schedule starting at 8 am! Getting up so early regularly is rough! As expected there is a barrage of venting as soon as I pick them up or they get home. I 100% expected this. The first 4 days they did very well with texting me to problem solve and I was able to help them through text or get them to someone who could help them. They have made one acquaintance! My kiddo has a few dx's for anxiety. Probably has some me, but we haven't tested for it. Here is my problem. Today is picture day. My child has been self loathing of how they look for awhile. Of courss the more anxious/stressed they are, the worse it gets. Today is picture day. They woke up late. I got a text with the pic and a message that they never ever want to take off their mask again and that theu feel ugly and are trying not to cry. There is a plan and person for them to see at school so I directed them there. The picture is not horrible. I far as school pictures go. It isn't really accurate either because it isn't like they take the time. I know that if I say that it looks good they will simply reply that I always think that because I am mom. So I tettered on neutral saying it is a meh pic of them but a good pic as far as school pics go. I do not know how to help my child who always thinks they are ugly no matter what anyone anywhere says. I feel so bad that they have such self loathing for the way they look. I mean people tell me all the time how incredible they look...and not just friends. I mean they are goth/punk so not everyone favors that image but this child has nailed it and pulls it off as if they own it. They just don't see it. And that is causing them to break down...along with the rest of the stuff. Today has been the first day that it was this bad. Also the first day they had homework that they didn't complete because they went directly to bed when they got home. Does anyone have any tools to help me hold space for them, as well as ideas as to how I can help them take off the lens that they see themselves through and maybe have a gentler lens? For now I am just compassionately listening and feeling bad for them.

Posted by kym.kolb at 2022-09-09 15:50:12 UTC