Sorry for not being active on here. Life got in the way until I found myself in a rut. Now, my parents are worried for me that I'm not living up to my potential. I try so hard to find a career I could excel in but I always keep going back to wanting to become a professional musician and songwriter. But so far it hasn't been getting off the ground lately. Music is my first love and my true passion. I want it to work but somehow it's not. I don't have a lot of connections in the industry but I did learn how to record when I went to the Tacoma School of the Arts. And I had a recent discussion with my dad with him saying that he wished that I didn't go to the school and that I was better off going to a public school. I went to that school because I felt like a fish out of water in the other schools I went to before. I didn't like the schools and I didn't like the kids. When word got out to the kids that I was a special needs student, I got made fun of and was an easy target for bullies. I managed to make friends but not a whole lot. I was alone most of the time because it was too overwhelming for me and I have bad social anxiety. The kids were too much and I just wanted to be alone most of the time. I just became quiet. I was just a happy-go-lucky kid, even though my parents were separated throughout my entire upbringing, until I wasn't anymore. Basically, I had been in defense mode my entire life. I always had to put on a brave face just to show that I'm okay, but deep down I am not. But also these days, I just don't seem to want to talk to people because it gets very draining for me when I'm around them for too long. I don't know if it's my Aspergers or it's just me. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to get this out of my system.

Posted by wyattjamesbender at 2025-02-16 21:43:43 UTC