I am grandmother to my 19 year old grandson who lives in a group facility about 2 hours from his parents. His mother needs to travel globally for her work. He becomes very anxious and angry when she goes, even if she plans to communicate virtually at those times. He does not react when his dad has to travel, only his mom. He carries a lot of shame and lack of self-forgiveness for things he did and said to his mother during his most challenging puberty times. He carries birth trauma. It was a challenging time and he was in the NICU for several days. His mom never left his side. However, he does want to control his mom in order to feel safe. If she doesn't tell him before she travels to spare him the anxiety, trust is broken, and if she does tell him before he becomes anxious, angry and falls into defense mode, hard for him to manage his meltdowns and anger. Any suggestions? My grandson wants to travel, too, and dreams of traveling with Danny. I would love to see him join Danny on a trip to London. He respects Danny so much and met him many years ago in Seattle. Please offer guidance to help guide us in supporting my grandson to accept his mom's travel with less heartache and stress, and most of all to help him stop feeling that he must punish himself for past actions when he lived at home. His mom was his primary target. Maturity has helped a lot, but it is hard to see him hang on to this past.

Posted by rhonda at 2025-01-29 22:18:05 UTC