Hello. We've now got two kids diagnosed as ASD1, who present very differently. We're having larger or more consistent behavioral issues with the first son who was diagnosed, Eli, who is a wonderful kid. We've been trying to create a safe space for him at home, and are unsure how often to offer correction or advice. Frankly, there are times when he presents as more abrupt or "rude" and I let it slide because I am about creating that safe space and understand his intention is just conversation. My wife has been more proactive in terms of correcting him, correcting him more frequently, and we think, as a consequence, he gets angrier and acts out more with her. We're trying to get him out of defense mode and I am not sure either of us is handling him perfectly. I also know, when he asks a question, if he sounds harsh or asks a "why" question of something that appears self-explanatory to me as his neruo-typical dad, I will usually answer his question, first, and then engage him in conversation about whether his phrasing or tone would cause him problems outside the house, for instance, whereas my wife will ask him to rephrase before answering him at all. I think this might be the rare case where I have a better idea of how to handle things than my wife, because I generally encounter more pleasant behavior and less resistance. But we have only known him to be ASD since July. So, how are we doing, and is it OK to sometimes not correct or instruct him at all?

Posted by SteveVolk at 2024-12-12 16:16:02 UTC