Hello everyone, I have relationship problems. I’m a NT who had a ASD (Asperger) partner. We’ve had so many communication problems from day one and I don’t think either of us were aware of the fact that he might be autistic. He did mention it briefly and when I probed, he said hes probably autistic. Fast forward months of burnouts (depressions) shutdowns (being mute), going through intense fixations (different diets etc), and I noticed he would mirror his friends in opinions and decisions and there was a lack of emotional support from him and we were both miserable. He seemed to always look to our friends opinions instead of listening to me and he finally broke it off with me. I’m devastated and that’s when I seriously looked into autism and I discovered so much! We hurt each other deeply and I’m not even sure what my questions is anymore. I guess I wanted to express my difficulties and I’m open to peoples opinions on how to support, accommodate and love someone on the spectrum in a way he’d understand. I struggled with his “lack of empathy” and it’s so frustrating since we keep thinking we are gaslighting each other when I discovered we are just misunderstanding each other. Can someone please help me? I miss him so much, another part of my question is do ASD people get over their partners quickly? Especially if his friends are validating him (I think I’m experiencing Cassandra symptoms). I know everyone is different but I wish I could let him know what I discovered and would like to share with him but not sure how to. He has not been formally diagnosed but the signs are all there. He always feels like he’s different and is so sensitive to any disagreement and takes it as a negative criticism to him. Please share thoughts! Thanks everyone for the support!

Posted by Jihye at 2024-10-21 22:29:35 UTC