Hi there! Sorry long! I am new to the community. I joined because I suspect that my 13 year old daughter has ASD, which is most likely the cause of her social phobia, anxiety and starting depression. She is currently in a a day clinic which was supposed to help with her diagnosis. The thing is: I have the suspicion they know less about autism in girls than I do and my knowledge consists of having read 3 books on the topic. We are in Germany so no DSM5, but ICD10. The forms we are supposed to fill out are ridiciously outdated. For example they claim they use male pronouns only because only one in 10 Asperger cases is female and they ask for male symptoms only. "Does he have a fixation.....is he aggressive....will he avoid eye contact /he/he... They focus on two things only: my daughter needs to be able to go back to school otherwise her life is over (homeschooling is forbidden in Germany) and she needs social training in order to find an keep friends. My gut feeling tells me she is in survival mode all day which is why she won't learn anything and which by far more dangerous for her life than not getting a formal education. My daughter has two friends and says she doesn't want more and I stopped sending her to school after she was bullied and had a panic attack. I get a lot of blame for being too lenient and not forcing her enough to push through things. I think they think i want a diagnosis so that I can put all my parental shortcomings on that. I have always taken my daughter seriously though and when she tells me that the input is too much for her I simply believe her. She has never lied about anything, I don't think she is able to do so. With her it is nothing but the truth whether you like it or not and I really admire her for that. However there are some things i definitely need to change. My daughter is hooked on her tablet for days in a row. I don't mind her computer games and she taught herself English just from watching youtube, but I am afraid that the constant input is the reason for her concentration problems and high arousal. Also it gave her nearsightedness and bad posture. I blame myself for letting it get so bad. I figured she would simply follow my example at some point. I meditate, take the dogs to the woods daily, hardly watch anything and do martial arts and yoga. For a neurotypical person I would recommend mindfulness training and meditation (I am actually a life and relationship coach for parents - ironic, i know) My daughter says however that silence stresses her out and guides meditation scare her. After school she is normally to tired to go for a walk outside, something that I find soothing. Do you have any other recommendation for a destressing method that is really relaxing ?

Posted by Ulla at 2024-09-29 16:08:35 UTC