I find that I go into a literal physical freeze mode very often immediately after a social interaction, when I get out of the “known activities” part of my day, when I’ve gone through a stressful situation, or when I’m waiting for something and I know that for whatever reason I can’t get it immediately. I’ve been experimenting with forcing myself to move to get out of freeze mode but it’s not instant. Not being able to control when I enter freeze mode is very terrifying, and often I’m unaware of it until as much as 2-3 hours later. In other words… I’m pretty much back where I started. This freeze mode will usually involve doomscrolling, or I’ll already be in an internally “whiny” mood. It’s like I’m looking for that trauma bonding because I feel worried/uneasy about some feelings that come up for me. So I start doomscrolling and then I get locked into this freeze mode. The crazy thing is I know what I’m doing is bad for me, but I still feel like doing it anyway. I find it hard to sit with my feelings, and this is especially true when I’m dysregulated as I’ve been the vast majority of the time lately. It’s like I oscillate between dissociating and frantically trying to get my responsibilities done, with no real relaxing in between, wasting a ton of time and emotional energy in the process. What do I do when the tremors of self-pity that trigger me to doomscroll start?

Posted by marcopolo_96 at 2024-06-24 04:25:48 UTC