Finally found a way to express how I am feeling. This clip comes from Season 3 Episode 11. While I didn't understand some of the more mature things in the video and my mom didn't want to explain (she says she wants me to remain innocent and frankly I also don't want to know some of the more mature things, I may be old enough but perosnally I am not ready), the jist of this conversation is basically how I feel. I'm honest with someone, they hear the honest truth, they no longer want to be around me or talk to me. They say they want something, they want the honest truth, but then they get mad at the truth, even if they promised not to get mad. That's my biggest fear when opening up to people. I also don't want them to go and tell others what I may have told them meaning for it to stay in between us. I'm scared to open up to my counselor fully due to PTSD and major trust issues. I have also been manipulated in the past from strangers to even family (grandparents are a prime example of that and there is a reason we don't have communication anymore). Later in the episode, shaun has a meltdown, and honestly it's exactly what I do, except I cry instead of yell, and I cry quietly because I don't even want to open up to people during my meltdowns. I've honestly shared more on this website than I have with anyone else because I am annoymous and nobody will find me in real life. If anything bad happens or anyone creepy shows up or whatever else, I can just block them and/or delete my account. It is where I feel safest. Still, I haven't shared everything. In fact, I don't know of ANYBODY that I've shared everything to, whether online or in person. Advice?

Posted by Annoymous1 at 2024-06-06 01:50:29 UTC