Edited to add: I think what may be useful is a therapist educated in defense mode and skilled at helping people thoroughly entrenched in it to get out. So - recommendations on this type of therapist that takes insurance? While I'd love for AE coaching, there just isn't the money for it (partly because of the financial consequences of defense mode) I'm hoping for some guidance. My husband is 53, and only diagnosed within the last year. We married 2 months after meeting (that's a whole other story and, not how I typically operate as was my first marriage when I was 49!) Anyway - our second anniversary is approaching in August and I'm not sure we are going to make it. Things changed pretty much immediately after we got married - I suspect he achieved the pinnacle of that particular interest, so that was it. I also believe he has been operating out of defense mode for years. I've done everything I know to do, educating myself and am currently in therapy for myself for trauma. We've done counseling, which, now that I know about defense mode, probably added to it. I have a dependent, not a husband. While he says he'd do anything for me and doesn't want to lose me, he hasn't followed through on a single "assignment" from either the marriage counselors (to the point where they said they had to see some forward movement in order to continue), or his psychiatric nurse practitioner. I totally believe that he's not deliberately, maliciously doing (or not doing) things. He's not a bad man and has a good heart. I have read the 7 Ways To Motivate and watched the webinar. Is there anything I can do to help him even recognize that he is in defense mode and/or help him out of it? I so want this to work and for us to be a strong couple that is a true partnership. Thanks in advance...

Posted by Anonymous0813 at 2024-06-05 18:52:06 UTC