Update at bottom of post (finally talked to her): I am absolutely convinced my dance studip is trying to replace me. The understudy I have is for my best dance and the only one I have costumes for. One of the lead roles broke her toe on Saturday, recital is on this Saturday, and she is still doing her full role in pointe (she can't even walk on the toe now). My understudy is someone who showed up a month ago and is completely new to the studio. She is better than me. It feels like they are trying to completely kick me out of recital without actually doing it. I am down to one dance. I was supposed to have 5. I have costumes for one dance that has two parts (one beginning of show one late in show), and I have an understudy for that now. My costumes were ordered way too late, didn't fit, and ended up having to be reordered. They are supposed to be in on Thursday. Dress rehearsal is on Friday. I feel really hurt. If they show up one day late I might as well not even be in recital. I'm really scared to say anything and my teacher hasn't even noticed me going into the other room constantly (trying to avoid crying in front of her or yelling or whatever else basically having a meltdown/shurdown), further proving I am invisible. My teacher has not been responding to any of my texts and I have to get her attention numerous times just to talk to her during class or rehearsal. I'm really hurt. I want to talk to her but I am extremely scared. They might just take me out of recital anyways and stop trying to hide it. I have a trial tap class with a new studio in next month. I might just try ballet there, too. I had an irish step class on saturday so I'm thinking of just ghosting the studio and not ever coming back. I really don't know at this point. I like how much money it is because I can afford it. I am already really concerned about survival needs so I may just have to wait to start the new studios in December when I get my financial aid and scholarship refund check (am getting full ride + extra). Any tips or advice? I know I've been stuck on this for a while but it keeps developing each time we have class or rehearsal. It's getting more and more hurtful. Update: I finally reached my breaking point. I didn't get to practice my dance again and on the verge of tears I asked to speak privately. We had a good 20 minute talk. She explained that some of the dances were fast and were quick changes so she wanted to give me more time in case something happened during the dance and she wasn't replacing me. I explained to her that I was concerned I wasn't going to have any dances at all because I had no costumes for the ones I wasn't taken out of. She explained her backups and was supposed to be texting me the backups just in case, she also said just in case the new costume comes in late she would go ahead and order me backups tonight when she got home, and if that didn't work she would personally go and shop for backups since she now has measurements to go off of (she didn't get measurements for the first ones and just looked at me and guessed my size). She was super understanding and I explained to her that if I was being completely honest, the other teacher (Mrs. M) was making me super uncomfortable and was trying to encourage me to speed to get here. She asked if she could share that with her and I politely declined and told her I didn't want to make a bigger target and it already took a ton for me to even come speak to her. I explained to her that I go to dance even when sick and had even thrown up tonight because at orientation they didn't have a meal for my dietary restrictions so I chose the best option and had a few pieces of spinach and got sick from it. I told her I felt invisible and the only thing that made me come talk to her is what I heard tonight. She asked if people were talking about me and I said nobody directly said anything to me it was all general overheard conversations about general things. She said she never wanted me to feel invisible and that April and May are just a time when there is a lot on her plate and everything is overwhelming for her. I said that I understood and that it wasn't just her. I also explained that every relationship I am in it always ends up making me feel invisible because I am no longer new. She said that she wanted the opposite of that and she would try to do better on her part since she can't vouch for anyone else. I told her I understood. She then asked me if I could look into her eyes and I did, but then she stopped herself and asked me if it made me uncomfortable, and I told her yes and then looked at her neck instead (what feels most comfortable for me so I am still looking at the other person), she apologized and said she was sorry for asking and I said it was okay. She then told me that she wanted to emphasize that I would have a costume for the two dances I did not have a costume for and that I would at least have 3 dances. She ensured me I would also get an extender for some wings we have to wear (child size so many need extenders) so that way it doesn't choke us to death. I feel okay, definitely better than I did. I don't feel replaced anymore, but I am still concerned that I will not have costumes to wear. I got some of my old costumes (drastically different) but I am hoping if I bring them to dress rehearsal it will at least pressure her into letting me have the dances she promised me.

Posted by Annoymous1 at 2024-05-29 01:29:19 UTC