I don't know how to explain it but I am giving it my best shot. It feels like my life is perfect and I should be perfect and okay. However, I feel like I am constantly going through the classic stages of grief you learn about in elementary school. I feel like my life as I know it is just falling apart. However, I get some sleep and I am fine until later in the day and I feel it all over again. I am getting honestly to the point that I am starting to become dehydrated and it is affecting everything in my body (from pain to hEDS to emotions) from crying so much. I was barely getting the 100 fl oz I needed before, now I need even more with more dance and I am crying so much I am expending so much water just through tears alone. I also tend to throw up when I cry so much which leads me to cry even more. It feels like my life is quickly falling apart. The only thing I really have to look forward to is waiting for my application to Make A Wish, to another organization to get a service dog, and college. I feel like my relationships are dwindling fast (especially my mom, but also other friends because I tend to isolate myself with strong emotions since I was taught that nobody wants to see it or hear it and so I have to bottle all my emotions in, I am trying to not think that way but it is deep in my sub-conscience now). I can't even really talk to anyone because of the deep-seeded fear I am still trying to get over (self-diagnosed as CPTSD, informally diagnosed with PTSD). Tips? I'm grasping at straws at this point... Is this potentially burnout compounded with other things?

Posted by Annoymous1 at 2024-05-16 02:29:33 UTC