My dysregulation is coming back in full force this past week, despite HRV scores above 7.0. Pacing, talking to myself out loud, & maladaptive daydreaming are all back, albeit in spurts of anywhere from 5-20 minutes. I find that I start my days very strong & active, but can’t finish them the same way. For example, if I wake up at, say, 9 AM, I’m usually completely zonked out by 6 PM. This leads to a problem where I crash in bed and do nothing/my maladaptive coping mechanisms during the evening, and then my mind just freezes & shuts down from then until 12:30 AM or so. At that point my mind gets a “second wind” of energy, so to speak, which allows me to power through my nighttime routine and hit the hay around 2-3 AM, but I don’t fully fall asleep until like 6:30-7 AM (I’m basically wide awake until then), so I’ve only been getting maybe 3 hours of actual sleep, at best, half the time. All this despite keeping my Sims 4 habit under control and actually increasing my daily physical activity level (went from just taking walks to actually playing basketball at half-3/4 speed, and in some cases full speed). I don’t socialize anymore. And not having any notable sleep disorders other than a messed-up circadian rhythm from my sleep pattern varying wildly between midnight and 3 AM and swinging back and forth between these times rapidly and often, usually once or twice per week. I remember a saying I had in my mind was, “I can only have 2 out of 3 productive parts of a day: morning, afternoon, and evening.” Back in the Dysregulated Times, those parts used to be morning and evening, and just evening (night actually) when I was in Defense Mode. But now, it seems to be morning and afternoon, with a second wind late at night. What should I do?

Posted by marcopolo_96 at 2024-05-10 06:01:33 UTC