I try so hard to have patience and give grace but my 13 y/o with ASD is wearing me out. It appears to be complete defiance. He has PE this semester so he has to wear closed toe tennis shoes or even Dudes. This entire semester this has not been an issue but now... Are you supposed to wear your slides to school? No. Then why did you? Because I wanted to. Also yesterday... We have a camera in our living room that he is very aware of. Yesterday I checked it to see what the 15 y/o brother left the house in. That's a whole different story... 😜 In the review I saw J (the 13 y/o) put something in his backpack. When I asked him about it last night he denied putting anything in there despite me starting with... I saw on the camera that you put something in your backpack after I left. His response... Go ahead check it... To have this conversation with him last night I took him out of youth... He ditched the MP3 player (which is what he snuck in his backpack) in the youth room. So smart, so calculated, but so defiant when he Knows that I saw him put it in his backpack. He is on restriction from any screen or electronic for refusing to complete work in class, instead he is playing on a friend's Chromebook. Just got a call from the school for being tardy. I called to see what was going on... He refuses to participate in PE now, won't even line up for attendance (it's the first period) and "will only play on his Chromebook". Thing is he doesn't have a school assigned CB anymore because of his misuse of it. So he's using someone else's. Sneaks his 15 y/o brothers CB out of his backpack to play in the middle of the night. We ended up putting all the electronics in our room with a locked door. All last 24 hours. I'm at a loss of how to get through to him. There is no rational for cause/effect. Positive reinforcement for good choices, consequences for poor choices. None of it sticks. No screens for poor grades... Ok, no screens, I still don't have to do my school work. Good grades, extra privileges, earned screentime (that's his jam) Nope, doesn't matter. I've tried talking less and minimizing the attention given to poor choices. To him that just means.. free pass to do it again. I need help with Any ideas or suggestions!

Posted by GailB at 2024-05-09 14:48:10 UTC