(TW) Can anyone tell me why I don’t feel real? Or anything that may contribute to how I’ve been feeling? I’m constantly paranoid, but I’ve noticed that I’m scratching off my skin without even realizing, random bruises appearing on my body for no reason (it happens too often to be a coincidence), and I’m getting “flashbacks” that aren’t my own. I’m having extremely vivid nightmares of people being brutally m*rdered, with every detail. I can vividly see the bodies, and I wake up in cold sweat, feeling like I’m being watched. My anxiety medication has practically stopped working, to the point where I’ve almost overdosed desperately trying to fix it. I’ve been getting violent thoughts…none of which I’d ever act upon, but it’s terrifying. Anytime I tell anyone, like my therapist, he just says “well it seems like you’re aware. I wouldn’t worry too much.” I’ve been extremely numb, and everyday deep down I feel that something is wrong with me. That I’m sick, and it makes me feel like I’m going crazy. Nothing feels real anymore, and everyone always mitigates my situation. The flashbacks are vivid, and of memories I don’t remember or have gone through. Such as being stabbed or my car going off a cliff in the woods. It’s been about a month since it’s started, and my motivation is just gone. EDIT: I do study criminology, but I do it professionally and have been doing it since 10 years old. I’m quite desensitized to any kind of gore (respect to the victims and their families). Regardless, I’ve never had any kind of nightmare or flashback, even when I first started. My medication is also a beta blocker, which I had to stop taking because of an accident I suffered a few days ago. I’m not withdrawing, I’ve been experiencing this for about a month and a half now.

Posted by Atlx.ntic at 2024-05-07 20:58:54 UTC