Update: I just got back home from speech therapy. She said that it is not right and "completely unfair" to me that my mom will not let me speak, interupts me, and when I do get frustrated she will not let me step away (even if stated) to avoid escalating it and instead will follow me, yell at me, and more. It seems like more and more people are telling me that what I am experiencing is definitely not normal, and in no way fair to me. I always thought the things my mom did was normal. It took me years to gain the courage to even talk to a therapist because it was always portrayed to me that people were eager to twist words. It was to the point I was starting to not speak up even when I had a severe injury as I did not want people to think anything bad of it. Case in point: Sprained my ankle (both sides) by running into a wall not paying attention. I told my mom it hurt and couldn't walk and she told me I was overexgagerating and to just walk it off. Around 7 hours later she took me to urgent care because I refused to walk even a little bit and when I did I would slide my foot across the ground. I am beginning to see this was very much not normal. While nobody knows everything that I've said here, I am slowly telling my therapist, and have now even told my speech therapist the details of my mom interuptting me constantly and my mom following me when I am trying to de-escalate a situation. Even my therapist had to convince me that it was okay and it was truly a safe space to talk. It took months for me to finally fully get that in my head. I still feel very scared and guilty whenever I share with my therapist and have even noticed myself taking blame, unintentionally, while talking about things. In terms of setting boundaries to non-family, it is very much a me issue. I am afraid of retaliation (professors may drop my grade unfairly and intentionally, etc.). In terms of family, it is very much me not being allowed to set basic boundaries like when I was forced to move furniture even though I had sprained my ankle and MCL (knee) the day before and the day of, I had bruised a bone in my opposite foot. I am even starting to believe that I may have Level 1 Autism, not Level 2, and was only diagnosed with a higher level due to how I act, especially with strangers, due to childhood PTSD.

Posted by Annoymous1 at 2024-05-01 18:08:30 UTC