Update to this post at the bottom: This time my mom brought up a boundaries conversation, not me..... She says that she has too much to do and she needs me to take some things on. She has been saying this for a while. I told her that she doesn't give me a chance to do any chores or anything because she tends to do them, without asking/letting me know, and way before I have a chance to do them. For example, she got up at midnight to work and fed my dog at 4am, 2 hours earlier than what my dog is supposed to be fed at, and didn't even try waking me up "because you wouldn't wake up even if I tried, it was too early." I told her that I can't exactly prevent that because she never told me and never gave me a chance. (thinking: she is the one that told me to take extra pain meds for my botox (for chronic headaches and mygraines) and would get mad when I told her no. So eventually, I gave in, which made me sleep pretty much all day yesterday and into today at my doctor's appointment even.) She says that she takes on too much but she won't give anything over to me and constantly complains about how I am doing things "not right." I gave her some suggestions but she shut down each one right away and constantly interuppted me, not even allowing me to finish what I am saying. She is constantly saying that I need to "listen and not think of my response" yet she doesn't even follow that advice herself. It's constantly double standards. When I talked to my therapist about my mom potentially being narcissistic she said she doesn't believe she is, but thinks she might be bipolar. I was too scared to tell her everything my mom was doing because of trust issues due to PTSD. It took me almost a year to say half of what I am now. My mom even requires approval (even despite me being almost a legal adult....) for me to reduce the frequency of my therapy, my therapist even had to call my mom to tell my mom her professional opinion that I should be seen less often. Then and only then did my mom finally agree. My mom is so stuck in her ways and even my therapist said that even despite not knowing everything. She said that because of that we can't move forward and that I just need to get out of the house more. Right now, I am sick so I haven't been able to get out of the house. (Got sick because of what my MOM did. I have posts detailing it but it was because she invited friends over that KNEW they were sick and KNEW I had an immune deficiency.) I'm at a loss because I am unable to move out due to my college's dorm standards (my mom filed bankruptcy so she can't be a co-signer/authorizer but because I am not old enough to sign legal documents yet I need a co-signer/authorizer.) I don't understand what the heck I am doing wrong and due to my massive amounts of PTSD from childhood I don't trust anyone who knows who I am/where I live with any personal details. How do I fix myself? Why am I this wrong? Why is this happening to me? I don't want to be a testimony anymore. I have plenty of experiences that I can use to testify to others, I don't need anymore. I just don't understand. Update: She doesn't want me to remove myself by going into another room then when I say that I want to remove myself from an argument she sends me to another room without lunch? What the heck... haven't eaten anything and am not allowed to go in the kitchen to get food, now. WHAT THE HECK DOES SHE WANT?????? This is so toxic and I am accosted and scolded for trying to call apartments/student housing to try and move out after she tells me I need to move out. So does she want me to move out or not? She says I will "regret" moving out. If I do what she wants she gets mad and yells, then do the next thing she wants, she yells. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK TO DO.

Posted by Annoymous at 2024-04-19 16:04:54 UTC