How about this. I’m soon to be 59. My grandson from my son was diagnosed ASD, my son said it runs in families so I range my mother and asked if I’d ever been tested. She said yes, in Kindergarten! I JUST found out I have ASD, and BOOM! So many areas of life now make so much more sense. But Now that I know and see the train-wreck of my life, freshly divorced and on my own for the very first time, I’m frozen and unable to make decisions because I don’t trust myself to make the right choices. My emotions are all over the place and anxiety is off the charts and then I can’t stop crying because I’m in limbo. I’m freaking out! Now that I understand why I have always felt “disconnected” in life and do t fit in. Apparently I’ve “masked” my entire life which has caused me chronic fatigue. I am a lost soul, feeling so alone, with emotions that swing from high to low so quickly I’m not functioning. I can not stand being told to “calm down or to slow down” if I know how I would. I’m not capable of completing one task from start to finish, my concentration? None! Or for such a short time and then I forget until I see I had been doing something and never finished. I’m overwhelmed by daily tasks so nothing gets done which adds to depression anxiety and frustration. It takes me almost an entire day to get 1 or 2 chores done. I want to do things I just can’t. Can’t doesn’t mean the same thing as someone “normal”. It’s overwhelming. Life is overwhelming to me. I don’t like being alone, I do have a service dog but lately my anxiety has been soooooo bad she hides. Can’t blame her for that, I can’t stand being around me either! I desperately need help for I feel as though I’m drowning. The stress of this is causing me to lose weight and I can’t afford to lose any more weight. I’m a stick. Tish

Posted by thebionicmomma at 2024-02-03 23:47:20 UTC