My son was diagnosed with autism at 21. He still doesn’t fully understand the implications of that. I have been reading about it as much as I can, but he hasn’t. He moved out on his own a few months after his diagnosis, to another state, and has been struggling immensely. He is so hung up on trying to be fully independent, and he isn’t ready. He does not want to move back home, but his employer is now closing down his location and he has accepted the fact that he has to move back to Florida…begrudgingly. We are helping him financially until he can move. We plan to build an efficiency in our backyard, so he can have his own place but with less financial strain and more transportation assistance from us. We think he should live there for at least a year, so he can address his mental health issues, save more money, go back to school, and overall be more prepared for full independence (hopefully). He is such a perfectionist and idealistic that he does not see this as an opportunity to learn from his experience and regroup. He sees this as utter failure and that he will never be able to save up to move out, work in his field, or be able to be independent. He always has seen life as going from step 1 to step 10 in one leap. No patience or perseverance. Just gloom and lament, and immediate gratification. I say all this to ask: is it wrong to explain to him that although he is highly intelligent and high functioning, emotional development/maturity is a few years delayed and he may not be ready just yet to be fully independent. Or how should I explain it? We want to support him but we cannot go into bankruptcy because he refuses to listen to wisdom or accept facts. He is grateful for our help but at the same time he doesn’t want to listen to anything contradicting what he wants.

Posted by marinadavis20 at 2024-02-03 23:20:20 UTC