I have a very general question. Do you find that it's best to be VERY direct with your child? When my now 12 year old was younger, I think I did not want to be very direct with him about my expectations because when I spoke to him directly, he either withdrew from me or he got upset with me. In both situations I felt I was making him ashamed of himself. He seemed so sensitive and I didn't want to harm the relationship. But over the years the expectations don't get met. Now I am trying to make up for lost time. I tell him things like, "If you want something, ask for it. If you ask, it might be a yes or it might be a no; but if you don't ask, it will be a no." It seems kind of infantilizing him, but I don't think it occurs to him to just ask. So I am thinking about doing this with a lot more areas where he seems to lack maturity. Parents do this even with neurotypical children, right? But maybe with more specificity with ASD kids? Do any of you have examples where you find success spelling things out or being more direct than seems necessary with a typical child? We have not gotten any therapy or coaching on parenting our son, as he was recently diagnosed, so I may just be unaware.

Posted by sophieno at 2023-12-31 00:07:02 UTC