I have a 22 yr old son, diagnosed with high functioning autism just a few months before his 22nd birthday. So no therapy or tools for him as he transitions to being an independent adult. Six months ago he moved from living with me to Colorado as a first attempt to being on his own. He was working 30 hours a week while living with me, doing his own laundry, meals, caring for his animals, few other chores, socializing with friends. He’s really really struggled since his move and one would expect. We talked about the challenges he would face, how long it will take to adjust, and the fact that this move is not permanent. He can move back home or somewhere else after a year if needed, and it’s not a failure but and adventure/experience. None of these conversations matter. He is miserable, declining emotionally, and is in deep Defense Mode. I am doing everything I can to help him. But he is so overwhelmed with working full time and caring for himself/his home that he cannot/will not go to therapy, medical appts, etc. He recently lost his SNAP benefits and is even more financially reliant on us. And he refuses to come back home. How do I help him feel safe when he is living in another state? How do I help him see that he is NOT broken, weak, a mistake, or born to suffer? How do I get him to understand autism and how it affects his perceptions, and that he can do something about it? How do I get him to come back home so he can regroup and attempt his goal better equipped? How do I help him when he is having suicidal ideations without feeding the codependent relationship we have formed? How do I help him without killing myself, as these last six months are seriously taking a toll on my mental and physical health?

Posted by marinadavis20 at 2023-12-30 23:38:27 UTC