First official post here. Two days ago I thought my relationship with my 13 year old was heading to a place beyond repair. I’m mentally and emotionally drained from the ongoing battles I’m having with him. I’ve thought it was ADHD or something other than Autism because he’s very articulate, intelligent and talented so no one else (professions excluded) see him as even having ASD. I think over the years I’d convinced myself that it wasn’t going to be an issue for us and all the conflict must be from something other than Autism if no one else sees it. But, I’ve just read the article about defense mode and another one on how my own anxiety (which I hadn’t recognize) was a contributing factor to the problem. I knew my reactions were triggering him but I didn’t understand why, where they stemmed from, or worse, how to address it. Every effort to help my teen has been met with hostility. I have to convince him to let me help and when I asked (no, yelled) why?, he screamed that he didn’t trust me. I was taken aback and confused. In the silence that followed, he choked up with real emotion that he never expresses and apologized. But I knew on a gut level the truth had been spoken. The argument ended with me retreating to my room to cry and then, a giddy overcompensation on his part to try to repair the breach. Neither of us sleep all that night. Then yesterday, we had another “out of nowhere” head butt and as I was quietly complained to my husband that “here we go again” I scrolled through FB. and stumbled across the book on how motivate teens with Asperger syndrome. From there I found this community. I had never seen this before and I am so grateful. Thanks to all whose posts I’ve read and to the creators who are providing valuable insights from their own experiences with ASD. I’ve needed this for 10 years now and the timing is perfect.

Posted by svea.bryan at 2023-12-11 00:54:05 UTC