Hi, my wife and I are new here. Our oldest son is 21 years old. We didn't get him formally evaluated until he was 14, which was after the DSM V was released. As I'm sure you're all more than aware, the DSM V removed Asperger's from its list of diagnoses. So, instead, my son was diagnosed with Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder, major depression, major social anxiety, and ADHD (inattentive). When we asked the neuropsychologist what she would have diagnosed him with if the DSM IV was still in effect, she said she probably would have diagnosed him with Aspergers. The only reason she didn't give him an ASD diagnosis was because he does not exhibit repetitive behaviors in the clinical setting. He exhibits all the other characteristics (as defined by the DSM) though. So, for the last 7 years, we have been trying to find appropriate counseling/therapy for him. Because he doesn't have the formal ASD diagnosis, he doesn't qualify for many of the autism support programs we've been able to find. Then, there's his behaviors. He is often angry and belligerent. He also tells himself regularly that he can't do anything, while also consistently telling everyone else that he knows how the world works and knows what he's doing. Our goal is to get him to be a self-sufficient adult. We found an apartment complex that is specifically designed for people on the spectrum, with on-site support staff, including occupational therapists and people to help him manage his finances. However, his usual pattern is put off all assistance that requires him to put in any effort. We are simply running out of ideas and ways to help him/motivate him to move forward. We moved him into this complex at the beginning of the year where he has his own 1-bedroom apartment at significant personal expense. We have also agreed to renew his lease for 1 more year. After that, we simply can't afford to pay for his living expenses anymore. If he doesn't start working full time (he's not in college or anything else that takes up his time), he will have no money to go be an independent adult when his lease ends. At that point, he will be homeless. He is too angry and belligerent to live with us anymore and he has a very negative effect on his younger siblings (mostly because he bullies them). So, we're at a loss on how to get him to move forward for himself and the hope in coming to this forum is that maybe some of the members here can share approaches that might work, either from a parent perspective, or from an Aspy perspective. We are frustrated and feeling defeated as parents. He simply will not make use of the support available to him. Anyone have a success story they're willing to share?

Posted by AspyDadinAZ at 2023-11-28 18:39:22 UTC