https://www.aspergerexperts.com/topics/parenting/articles/co-dependency-rope I just read the article above. This is the situation I am in with my kids, especially my daughter. I was surprised to read some of the words as I tend to use the anxiety they experience as an excuse (I hate this word but can't think of a different word that fits). I do realize this article was written from the point of view of a friendship. Defining what constitutes support has been an ongoing challenge for me. "They need help and support. It's quite another thing to continue holding onto the rope, or carrying the boulder, - the heavy burdens of someone who refuses to take action or help themselves in anyway. - Someone who is in fact capable of helping themselves at least to some extent, but they consciously choose not to. Furthermore, they refuse to even take your needs and feelings into consideration. You're not seen as a thinking, feeling, person like them who is deserving of empathy in their mind. You're either an obstacle or a means to an end, so they don't really care how much their actions continue to hurt you." I have never believed they were choosing to be anxious, and they aren't, but I guess I HAVE to accept they are choosing not to chip away or whittle it down by challenging their anxiety. I really need to help them figure out what their blocks are so I can hold a realistic boundary.
Posted by sarakal1 at 2023-08-23 19:50:24 UTC