I'm so tired and exhausted about everything, I think that I have autistic burnout. Actually I think I've been in or or on the brink of an autistic burnout since I was a teenager. First I thought it was teenage angst, then I thought it was depression but now I know it's due to masking. I don't know what to do, resting doesn't really help, I'm so fucking stressed out for having to constantly mask and act like I'm a normal person when I'm not. I got an ADHD diagnosis this spring and thought that maybe things would get better and I could finish my master's degree in university (have been studying for 10 years but I'm stuck) but the adhd medication doesn't help, if anything it makes my autistic traits even worse. My doctor is on holiday. I've been trying to hold the pieces together and do everything i'm expected to do and be good enough but I'm still not, no matter what I do. Now I'm just too tired to do anything and it's a huge stretch for me even trying to do some of the things I have to (take care of the house and kid, help my partner in renovation and what not, study, go to work as a substitute teacher etc). During the summer I've only had to deal with everything other than uni and work but I'm still so effing tired and exhausted and next week I have to go to work and then try and study, too, 'cause in December I'm going to lose my spot at the uni if I don't graduate by then (hopeless and not realistically possible). I don't know how much longer I can go on.. my kid probably has adhd and autism too. My partner only knows about the adhd but doesn't really believe we have it. I can't talk to him about autism...

Posted by emmi at 2023-08-02 13:38:52 UTC