My son is 40. He is a materials engineer, married and the father of 2. He is opening up more about what he wants and what bothers him. We just found out that his inner world for much of his life has included a great load of resentment - a way he has managed anger. It's good to be able to know more about his feelings but I am also getting rudeness coming at me often. It frankly catches me off guard. He doesn't seem to want to own it but will excuse it because of the situation that precipitated it. Also, I can't engage him in dialog about it. He just will tune out by taking his conscious awareness elsewhere. Like cornstarch in water, if I am more insistent, he resists more. So, how do I respond with boundaries to his rude comments if he will not listen to my requests? Honestly, if I were to ask him in any way to listen to what I have to say, he'll just mentally dissappear. A lifelong response to me and a residual trigger for me as well. His tuning out is a response to his resentments I believe, whether current or past. I've got to find different ways to get MY boundaries across!
Posted by lrwriofrio at 2023-07-04 21:42:08 UTC