I’ve tried for over a year to educate, send online resources, pictures with info, and watch videos with my ‘family’ about autism and C-PTSD, because it’s literally killing me, but it’s in one ear and out the other. Somehow they still know 0% about ASD and don’t care to. Even though it means helping me/saving my life. They keep doing the opposite of anything helpful, and no matter how much I communicate, NOTHING CHANGES. I’ve been in severe burnout with self harm and extreme suicidal ideation, meltdowns basically every other day, unable to even leave my bed or room. (Over 6+ months…) None of my needs are being met, my surroundings aren’t ASD friendly at all, and I’m just chronically left alone and ignored, especially in my darkest moments. Twice in the last couple months when it’s gotten dangerously close to me taking my own life (which is my only option, not because I actually want to die) they’ve just called the cops (while still ignoring me) and I’ve been baker acted into a mental hospital with 0% knowledge on autism, no resources, and left me retraumatized. I haven’t been able to cook or eat so I’m probably under 100 pounds. My hair is falling out. I’m having skin issues. And I know the lifelong effects of these toxic cortisol levels and all the other physical health issues that will lead to my life being significantly shorter than we already have to deal with in general being on the spectrum. I don’t see myself making it to the end of this year honestly. I’m completely isolated and alone 24/7, with no support system, no friends, no gov help, not a dime to my name, no capacity anymore to even try to find help or take any actions (I’ve emailed 20+ nonprofits, organizations, etc with only ONE replying, but didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. Plus it was Autism Speaks and we all know the danger they are to the ASD community) and I’m suffering from regression. Please help. Please. And thank you. Sending major love to anyone else fighting to stay alive right now. 💜

Posted by Shelbz at 2023-06-29 08:14:52 UTC