Hi everyone. My name is Kayla. I’m 19 and was diagnosed with Asperger’s and ADHD when I was 7. My hobbies are drawing, toy collecting, watching YouTube, writing, and singing. I feel like ADHD didn’t affect me too much when I was diagnosed. I was just a little hyper, socially awkward, hyper fixated on random things. Nothing really debilitating. It got so much worse… I’m at a point in my life right now where I’m constantly in my fantasy world (my version of defense mode). I often carelessly skip school assignments (I didn’t do that in high school), I’m far less social now, I’ve fallen into bad eating, hygiene, and spending habits. The worst part is my inability to control my emotions. My meds help me with anger, but I’ve found no way to control joy. I stim like crazy all the time when I get excited about something. Today I literally screamed into my hands, because I thought something was cute and I didn’t know how else to deal with it. It’s getting out of hand and I don’t know what to do! I’m also a spiritual person, but I haven’t gone to church for the past 3 weeks because it’s so bad to just sit and listen! It’s hard to even watch the lessons in this app without getting fidgety or distracted. Basically, I’m in defense mode more than ever now. And I’m terrified of learning how to drive and refuse to do it anymore. The good thing is, I’m able to keep a part-time job (for now) and do part-time college. So at least that. But seriously. I feel like I’m stuck and there’s no way to fix it. I take a handful of prescribed pills every morning and night but they don’t work anymore. :(

Posted by kaylab at 2022-05-09 06:06:01 UTC