Hi all, like other posters here we are living with an angry young man (14 yr old) who feels threatened by everything around him and finds it hard to see how his own actions have influenced a situation. We are supporting and guiding him as best we can but are exhausted dealing with the daily upset and rudeness. His poor brother gets a really raw deal. I admit, that at times I do lose my cool, especially when he gets stuck in the upset and can't find his way to the easy solution. His Dad really struggles with the irrational complaints. We pay for private counselling to give him space to vent, but for our sanity we have recently started family therapy. He is finding this really hard. For him it seems it's an opportunity for us to be told, yet again, all the things we are doing wrong. He particularly struggles to allow other people to air their feelings and today after his private counselling session was extremely angry at me for insinuating that all our problems are his fault. His counsellor gives him this space, but I fear his victim mentality is being reinforced. I hope we could use the family time to help him consider the needs of others, as well as us finding a way to meet both his and his brother's needs, but I worry this is a step too far. Any advice/experiences/do's/don'ts in trying to help him see that there are 4 people's needs to consider? There are 4 people not feeling heard and 4 people living with daily trauma. Many thanks. Exhausted, from the UK.

Posted by UKmum at 2023-06-19 17:44:02 UTC