HI. I am new to AE but elated that I have found a common ground to share and learn about Aspergers! I am a single parent to a 10 yr old girl. At 2 I saw a change in my happy daughter. She became very frustrated, would have tantrums she couldn't get out of, would be stuck in an emotional "loop", was very defiant and wouldnt care if she was disciplined for anything. She also started spinning for comfort. That was my first sign. However, no doctors thought anything about it. Terrible Twos. It never got better. By 6yrs old, she was frustrated, had no patience, would jump from task to task leaving toys and destruction in her path. She didn't want to talk about anything. Hated feedback or guidance and couldnt stay focused enough to get thru anything she needed to do on her own. SHe hated checklists, charts, and couldn't care less about being rewarded for anything. She was going to do what she wanted. She actually could make friends but not keep them. I describe her as a leader who can't lead. She can gather people but then doesn't know what to do with them. I had a neurofeedback test done on my own. It came back with anxiety, adhd and insomnia. She slept great but never stayed in REM long. Ok, we started treating her for those issues. No meds helped. Stimulants made her rage and non-stimulants put her to sleep. We tried every one. We also tried CBD and Brillia. At 8, her pediatrician finally agreed to refer her to Children's Specialized Hospital for a full work up. She was diagnosed with Executive Function Disorder, ADHD and Anxiety. Then they tester IQ and it was 129 out of 140 which is why they diagnosed her with Aspergers as well. We started her in OT. She is 10 yrs old now and she is raging. She is angry all the time. She is always yelling at me even when she is not angry. She lies about everything and is very oppositional defiant about everything and Im not exaggerating. The minute you say "don't" she "does"..ugh.Her room is a disaster. She cant put anything away. Im always picking up everything. Im exhausted!. I leave her room as it is but it just gets worse. .She is obsessed with Roblox or anything on her tablet..She hates talking and masks everything well in school so she blows when she gets home and unfortunately I get the worst of it. I'm blamed for everything or everything is someone else's fault. Now that II have finally found this amazing website, I realize it's been the Aspergers all along. Her doctors never knew what diagnosis was prominent. It's Aspergers. She fits every article and webinar I read and watch. I now realize most everything we have tried to help her has been backwards. She's severely in "defense mode" and the "carrot and stick" discipline is wrong. She need the "blue line" discipline. I have been educating myself. I have signed up for the webinars. Purchased the "Accountability Plan" and feel I have a better understanding of things. However, I have not been able to implement any of it. The problem I am having is I'm trying to get her out of defense mode. I have tried to sit with her during Roblox trying to show support . Even offered to play(I hate virtual games, it gives me anxiety)..but she actually uses that time to try to manipulate me for things she wants..Which puts me in defense mode! ..and when she is lying, being defiant and doing everything she shouldn't, how do I go about being supportive and getting her out of "defense mode" without feeling like I am enabling her to continue to act this way? I know I'm on a better track now but I appreciate any advise as to how to move forward because we are stuck and I am willing to do and try anything to make this work! Thank you for reading my long post!
Posted by Determined Mom at 2023-04-18 23:27:32 UTC