I only just found this site yesterday and am still exploring. We suspect our 16 year-old-daughter has Asperger's though she refuses to entertain the idea. Last year our daughter burned out of high school and her school attendance plummeted. She went from honors classes to attending special-ed-like classes. The constant, and usually failing, struggle to get her to school felt so unhealthy. So we are trying homeschooling, but she's not doing the work. It's been 2 months and she's done barely a few day's-worth of work. We've tried her doing the schoolwork independently, we've tried doing it together, we've tried mornings, we've tried afternoons. Things can seem to work for a day or two but then fall apart the next. She only needs to do about 2 hours of work a day (even 30 minutes most days would be great but that's not close to happening). When I try to talk about how we should approach it, she just says, "Not now" or "I'll do some soon" but doesn't. I've had my own anxiety to get over--I didn't realize at first that she can basically get an incomplete and finish this year's work over the summer or into next year. I've backed off to avoid negative interactions, but even less work is getting done. I know in theory that she wants to do the work but she struggles with insomnia and focus issues. Also, academics use to be the focus of her life and social group. And now that she doesn't have that same life, schoolwork probably brings up very uncomfortable feelings. I have been hoping to be able to deemphasize the schoolwork but still do a little most days. And I know she still needs to recover from the burnout though we still don't understand what that means. How do I get her to help brainstorm how to approach the schoolwork? If no time is ever the right time (to the teen) to talk about a topic, and the topic triggers anxiety, how do you approach it? I'd like to be able to brainstorm and plan with her without causing lots of anxiety. Thank you for any suggestions!

Posted by cate at 2022-04-25 20:57:11 UTC