Why did my son go into such intense Defense Mode when he was told he couldn't remove the fridge's water filter right now and we didn't want him to try because we were afraid he'd break the fridge? (It's kind of stuck). He actually starting screaming and banging on things and grabbed my arm and shook it violently, digging his nails in. All the time I didn't raise my voice, didn't talk to him meanly, didn't threaten him, stayed calm and kind and loving. Until he injured me (an hour later and my arm still hurts). Then I got teary, which just sent him off into more demands of what he could do to make me "get over it". When I told him that getting ready for bed would help, he said "It's not worth it unless you're going to get over it!" Since I couldn't guarantee that he just kept yelling at me that "it was an accident! I didn't mean to hurt you! I didn't realize that was violent!" I had insisted he give me the new water filter back, and stop trying to take apart the fridge. I was genuinely concerned that he would break the fridge. He's done such things in the past. I just don't know what I should have done here. I've been following all the suggestions I've read here. Him and I are very affectionate with each other, have a strong bond, and I'm definitely his safe person. But he's not feeling safe to me right now. Help!
Posted by zkunstenaar at 2023-03-08 04:55:35 UTC