Hello! My son is about to turn 18 and in his senior year of high school which is not quite happening. At about 14 and over time he started to withdraw, see friends less and not want to pursue interests like computer classes at the local college and sports. Eventually just isolating in his room, playing video games, coming out only for food and drinks, no reading, no tv, no movies, no social media (a good thing). Then came the school refusal. He's been home for the last three months doing nothing but games, sleeping and some household chores. Deep into Nope. We've tried therapists, currently have a good one who suggests similar things that the AE staff suggests. We feel we have been giving him time to calm down, take a break, regroup. Now he has agreed to return to school on a limited schedule, two class for the new semester! He seems to be talking with us more! Now the question - it's very likely he may start school and then back out again. We're in the middle of the Freedom from Defense Mode course. It's seems like we need to set boundaries and expectations for him (like we would for any typical child) even if he says no to everything. So as my husband and I are talking ourselves through what the expectations will be if he says no to school again, we become stuck. "If you don't go to school we'll ..." what? We would have him tell us what he will do to move his life forward but if he says nothing we'll ... what? Turn off the wifi? Stop cooking for him? Have him move out? Is this a tough love type of situation you would do with a drug addict? Because if he continues to refuse to do anything at all, what's the plan? He has no interests anything so we can't ask him what he IS interested in doing - the answer is nothing or I don't know. FYI - he does all chores in the house with no complaint every day and he is not angry or aggressive, just the opposite, quite and withdrawn. How can we best support him to stay in school?
Posted by Claudine at 2023-01-02 23:40:24 UTC