Okay, sooo... Me and my dad were just at a restaurant. He brought up the subject of what exactly I wanted to do in life. I immediately felt tense because I've had a few ideas but was very insecure about trying to put them into action. I feel insecure because I don't want it to look like I never know what to do and that I never had a plan. I have high defense mode when it comes to me sharing/practicing things that I'm passionate about and it makes me feel pretty pathetic. I know I have so much potential but I've been keeping all that to myself because of how much judgement there can be, ESPECIALLY online. I've been working on a "fanstory" since the summer of 2021, I'm nervous as all heck to share that, but it's so interesting too because a lot of people can say positive things and you only focus on the negative things/constructive criticism and take it SOOOOO PERSONALLY. I know I'm not the only one going through this, I've just doubted myself a lot because I've always felt different and could just never help but assume that everyone thinks I'm the only ond who's clueless in life. I sometimes feel as if people say certain things to lift me up just to strengthen my ego, then I'm like "MYA. What else are they supposed to say?! NOTHING???" I don't want people to feel uncomfortable around me and I don't want to feel uncomfortable about freaking LIVING LIFE anyone so I want to take the steps and start here. This high defense I can have sometimes is just ridiculous..😓

Posted by ☆Mya Syphrit☆ at 2023-01-02 18:50:51 UTC